Do you Have Kids? Unexpected Evangelism.

“Do you have kids?”

That was how I attempted to break the awkward silence while working with a new co-worker on a humid Saturday evening.  Actually, it is how I start a lot of conversations with people I don’t know, it tends to create a common ground.  If they have kids I can relate – if they don’t, I can relate.  You should try it…but I digress.

Her response was not one I expected.  She told me how many kids she had, 3, and then proceeded to tell me how she was married for 14 years and that her ex had abused her.  She is now a divorced, single mom struggling to make in on her own. She then asked if I was married, I said yes.  And we talked for a long time as we patrolled the bowels of the old hospital building.

Her intrigue was apparent, when I had mentioned that I have been with the same person for 18 years (5 years of dating and 13 year of marriage). She asked if we ever had marital problems, and how we deal with them.  I asked her if I could “get religious” for a moment, too which she said, “Of course.”

My response was simple, a bit awkward, and went something like this: Marriage, I believe, is supposed to be a picture of Jesus and the Church. What I mean is that the Church is Jesus’ bride.  That is what the Bible teaches.  And so often the bride of Jesus, the church, the people who make up the church, they fail.  They sin.  They screw up.  They screw up so bad that any judge would say that divorce is justified.  Yet… Jesus doesn’t divorce us, he simply says, “I forgive you.” Over and over and over. So as a husband I try and look to Jesus’ example.  Jesus didn’t abuse his bride.    He didn’t belittle her.  The Bible teaches that Jesus, even though He was her head and her king, served her.  

He could have told her to bow, yet he bent down.  

He could have caused her to suffer, yet he suffered for her.  

He was in his right to kill her, yet, He died for her.  

So for my wife and I, we believe in a complementarian relationship rather than an egalitarian relationship.  I know that is really not popular in today’s liberal society, but hear me out. We believe that my being a husband does involve “ruling over the house” – but not in an authoritative way.  Not in a domineering way.  Rather it means that the husband is to rule in a servant way.  You see, my role a husband is to serve my wife as Jesus served the church.  To provide for her in every way; financially, spiritually, emotionally, and if needed, I must also die for her. And likewise, my wife is too also serve me.  If I am honest, she could have left me many times and been justified in the eyes of the world.  But we each look to Jesus example, and when we are weak, we look to the cross and find our strength in Him to serve each other in love. We have a view of marriage that is foreign to most people today, but in our view, we find hope, we have true love, and we find the strength to deal with each other’s weaknesses…

The look on her face was priceless.  It was a strange smile with a touch of astonishment and unbelief. We talked for about an hour about marriage and the gospel before we had to deal with work stuff.  I hope to talk with her again.  In the meantime, please pray that the gospel of Jesus would penetrate her heart and soul and that the holy spirit would work new birth and faith.

SDG